One of the things that characterizes mature friendship is a familiarity and intimacy that makes for a robust relationship rather than a fearful one. In a mature relationship, there is no place for fearful piety or false reverence. Rather, with a close friend, we are bold because we know the other’s mind, fully trust the other, and are at a level of relationship where we are unafraid to ask for things, can be shamelessly self-disclosing, are given to playfulness and teasing, and are able to responsibly interpret the other’s mind. When we are in a mature relationship with someone, we are comfortable and at ease with that person.
That is also one of the qualities of a mature faith and a mature relationship with God. According to John of the Cross, the deeper we move into a relationship with God and the more mature our faith becomes, the bolder we will become with God. And this will not be the kind of familiarity that breeds contempt; that takes the other for granted. Rather, it will be the kind of familiarity that is grounded in intimacy, which, while remaining respectful and never taking the other for granted, is more at ease and playful than fearful and pious in that other’s presence.
But, if that is true, then what are we to make of the fact that scripture tells us “the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom” and the fact that religious tradition has always deemed piety a virtue? Do fear and piety militate against “boldness” with God?
We should not let ourselves be fooled by fear and piety. Fear easily masks itself as religious reverence. Piety can easily pass itself off as religious depth. But genuine intimacy unmasks both. A healthy relationship is robust, bold, and is characterized by lack of fear, ease, playfulness, and humor. And that is particularly true of our relationship with God. [Excerpt from Ron Rolheiser’s “Boldness with God,” May 2013]
